Oh goodness.

I absolutely HAVE to tell you about my new BFF. She’s AWESOME. She totally seems like a clean-cut, proper girl, but let me tell you – this chick is not afraid to get in there and get her hands dirty.

She helped me this Saturday with some yardwork. I know, right?  A friend who will actually help with YARDWORK?!  Pretty much impossible to find.

…but not this girl. She’s bad-a$$ like that. Pardon my french, but I can’t downplay her awesomeness. I’m pretty sure we’ll be BFF’s for life.

What’s that? You want to meet her… well, first I have say – don’t be intimidated. I met her over a year ago and was TOTALLY unsure if I could hang. I felt out of my league, but this weekend I finally decided to give her a go. I mean, what did I have to lose?

….maybe a finger?

Meet Miss Alli!  Her name’s actually Alligator Loppers, but I think we’re on a first name basis after Saturday morning.

This is probably a good time to point out that in no way are Alli’s parents, Mr. Black and Mrs. Decker, asking and/or compensating me to write this post. I just think Alli’s so awesome that I had to tell you about her. Then again… it’s probably an even better time to say that if Mr. Black and Mrs. Decker want to send me some of Alli’s other friends to get to know, I TOTALLY would. {wink}

You see, my Dad first brought me Alli on my Birthday last year. He knew we’d hit it off right away, but I was nervous. It’s like hanging out with the coolest, toughest chick in school.What if you’re not cool enough?  …Or what if you only have 9 fingers after you meet? It’s a potentially high risk situation!

Alli thought she could help me with a dead bush in my yard, and I was willing to try. What started as a burning bush two years ago has finally fizzled out. Burnt Bush. Toasted. Ashes… you get the picture. He didn’t fare so well in last year’s drought…

Ewwww, eye sore.  Time to get the heck outta dodge. I grabbed Allie, an extension cord, and my big girl panties. Time to chop that bush down!

What’s the point of mowing around a dead bush anyway? Poking me in the back, scratching my legs.  Noooo thank you. You’ve worn out your welcome, burnt bush.

Here’s where Alli and I really hit it off. I wish I could show you just how great our first time hanging out was, but we had to keep our eye on the prize. Two hands! No really… without two hands to help her along, Alli won’t chip in and pull her weight. She just shuts down. Literally. That’s fine by me though – I respect her for that.

After just 5 minutes, Alli and I had made quite the dent in our morning project. What a hand! I would have been snipping and chopping all morning if it weren’t for her help. Yup, she’s cool like that.

See!  Alli’s totally a get-in-there-and-get-dirty kind of girl. That’s a good friend to have!

….another couple minutes later and we had that bush knocked down to the ground…

Booyah. Buh-Bye Bush. So long. Don’t let the ‘gator getcha on your way out.

We totally knocked that out in less than 10 minutes!

Alli. is. AWESOME.

When we finished with the burnt bush, we scoped out the rest of the yard, hoping for something else to tackle…. but unfortunately I only have one tree. I can guarantee you though, when that tree needs some branches trimmed, I’ll grab Alli to help!  (…and I can’t wait!)

No really guys… Alli is awesome. I like to think of her as a chain saw with training wheels. I was very intimidated at first. I won’t lie.  I read the manual about 15 times, completely terrified of the first 2 pages of warnings. I just couldn’t stand to look at that bush one more day. Saturday I decided it HAD to go.

I’m pretty sure I closed my eyes when I first turned her on.

<Hindsight dialogue:  Ummm Dana, I don’t think that’s going to save you…>

But after we zipped right through the first branch, I was HOOKED. Chalk this one up to yet ANOTHER power tool I was afraid of and now I’m totally digging.  (Other examples…. miter saw, circular saw, jig saw…. apparently I’m afraid of things with blades and sharp teeth?)

If you live nearby and wanna have Alli over, just let me know. She’s totally game for hanging out with others. If you’re not so close, don’t fret… she has plenty of family. Just do a search for Mr. Black & Mrs. Decker Alligator Loppers and you’ll pull up a long line of her family tree.

If you guys ever get to meet, I hope you like Alli as much as I do!

You may also like: